hurt. When I got there, EVERYONE was there. You know -- it's the whole equation thing again. So, then I started to relax -- whew! Okay, maybe I'm in the clear, I thought, until at the end of dinner he asked me if I would like to go on a walk with him while he took Rocco out (the dog). And I felt sick. Oh how I felt sick. So, we go outside. And I start talking. And I talked, and I talked, and I talked. And we walked, and we walked, and we walked. Then I stopped talking, AND THEN -- silence. Nothing. Jason didn't say anything. I thought, oh, I'm in the clear -- yay! Nothing, nothing, we're almost back to the apartment, and I'm almost homefr -- BOOM! Jason said, "Katie, I've been such a coward." And my stomach -- I can't believe I held it all in. He said, "I've really enjoyed spending time with you; would you be willing to spend more time with me?" And I said, "NO!!!". I mean, I said, "No." :-) I told him our personalities were too different. I didn't think it would work. I just liked him as a friend.

All of those things a girl tells a guy. And I just got out of there. I told him I'd understand if he needed time away. This is a prime example of a woman speaking: I was giving him grace to back away, but he said, "I don't want to loose you as a friend." And in the meantime, I said that for my sake, because I KNEW I would be backing away from Jason like he was a hot potato (well, now I know he IS a hot potato ;-). I knew myself, and I knew I would avoid him like the plague. And so I went home, and I cried. I cried to the Garbers for an hour.

I felt like I was loosing my friend. I grew so much to admire Jason and how he takes care of his sister Erin, and plays with his nieces and nephews and how much he loves his family, while all the while at housechurch I thought he was annoyed by them! I got to see a tender side of him. A chilvarous side of him. I had begun to get a glimpse of who Jason Shade really was, and I wept for not getting to see more of it. It was in