we were always going out as friends in a larger group. So what's the difference? Anyway, I thought, maybe I could like him, as I was sitting across from him at the buffet. And I thought for sure he would initiate something then. But I still liked this other guy, and was just feeling giddy about the idea of two guys liking me (see, it would have been unhealthy). AND THEN -- nothing happened. Nothing. Jason didn't ask me out. He didn't proclaim his undying love for me. He didn't indicate anything at all. And in my mind, that sealed the deal. He only ever treated me how he treated his cousin Rachel, and I was relieved (see, it would have been unhealthy). And so the possibility of liking Jason was dismissed from my mind, just as quickly as the conversation Christina had with me ended. End of deal. Period.

Our housechurch went on a mini missions trip, and during that time I was only confirmed in seeing how Jason only treated me as a friend, as a sister. We went on a walk the night we got in,

but only because I was feeling cramped and confined, and I needed someone to go with me, so that no one else would worry about me (case in point, on that Sunday, I went for a walk after church to think somethings through, and I was by myself and told no one, and everyone was worried about where I was -- well everyone except for Christina, 'cause I'd lived with her for about two years at that point, and she knows me -- she's so smart). And so the weeks passed, and I thought nothing of Jason Shade. I didn't think of anyone. Just of my school work.

In the beginning of November, I put together a presentation about my trip to Rwanda to share with my church. Jason offered his expertise in media and burning files to discs/flash drives. So, we spent a lot of time in his office just working on it, and spent most of that time disagreeing about the format and style and how it all fit together. Then we watched a movie afterwards (Transformers), but obviously nothing romantic was going on because we had just spent the